Tag: Mindset

We all get to that point where you fight against that feeling of being overwhelmed. That feeling where you know that giving into your thoughts is a bad move. Where you must fight hard against your thoughts. My only weapon, worship songs that I pray would feed my mind and help drown out the feeling of despair.

Today is Day 17 of DH being hospitalised, and in part, I have been mentally ok for most periods. The exception was Day 11, which I found quite hard. I left the hospital, got on the train, and the reality of the past days came crashing down on me. Seeing someone normally strong become weak is a feeling I can not describe.

We are on track to get discharged on Day 19. I am happy this part is almost over, but  the road ahead suddenly looks daunting. I know that as God took us through this period and I could look back and say, “It was much smoother than I could imagine”, I am trying to remind my head that the next two months will have the same testimony.

I spent this evening with NO, who kindly invited me to an event that I accepted blindly, not asking for any details. Turns out it was an evening with Tina Knowles and Stella McCartney….talk about a pleasant surprise. I termed it #timeout as sometimes in life, taking a break from your reality is a necessity.

Today is also my dear Sister-friend  mums death anniversary, and another close friend lost someone soo dear to her yesterday. Both to C. That news hit bad. I sit at 23.58pm screaming at my brain to not be overwhelmed with the road ahead.

On a happy note, today is day 155 of my Bible in one year journey.  We are now reading about David. How did I not know he had  lots of wives!😮 Reading the old Testament is not for the faint-hearted.

To that overwhelming feeling, I say, “This too shall pass, One day at a time, I am not my thought, focus on the present, don’t let your thoughts control you, I’ve survived 100% of every thing I once termed difficult.

Psalms 61:1-2 NIV
[1] Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. [2] From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

This psalm is the basis of a secondary school song that I really loved. How befitting that it is an excerpt from one of the psalms of David.

The song states, “Hear my cry o Lord, attend unto my prayers.” From the ends of the earth will I cry unto thee. And when my heart is overwhelmed, please lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Thankful for my sister, who has been a human rock with her presence and my mum for providing a sense of normalcy at home for our daughter.

Quotes that I came across that resonated with me.

“You have dealt with so much and done the best that you can. So, take a moment now to appreciate how strong you are. ” – Karen Salmansohn

“Don’t believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.” – Renee Jain

God is my rock and my  foundation that never changes.

Welcome to day 18. It is now 00.49am, and it’s time to force my mind and thoughts to shut down whilst listening to My Response by Jubilee Worship.

April this year was one I had marked last summer as the beginning of change workwise. I had excitedly talked with Dh about my next move and asked for his support even if it meant me taking drastic actions to realise it. But suddenly, I find myself putting everything on hold. Is it resentment or frustration in the inability to fly at this stage? I had set out on a mission in 2022 to step out of my comfort zone workwise and challenge myself. I had been on a hiatus for 5 years.


The last two years have both been challenging and rewarding. I have achieved everything and more on the mandate I set myself up for in terms of career progression. Last summer, I determined the next part. Work with a great Ceo and get an inspiring mentor….and Apr 2025 was meant to be the start of that journey.


Then life threw a curveball that destablised my core. What should you do with curveballs? How many curveballs does it take to throw me off my game? Is the rule, as long as you find a way to stand up from the fall? What if you find yourself unable to muster the strength to stand up. What if staying down gives you a break from the responsibility of going through the pain of standing up? I recognise that the danger is that the longer you stay down, the harder and more stiff standing up becomes. 

I will stand up. I choose to stand up. I am making the choice to stand up. I have absolutely no clue how I’ll get my legs to cooperate with me. But you can be sure that it will stand up. At some point…..just don’t stay down for too long. Stay down enough to learn a lesson and emerge with stronger legs. Why? For every curveball thrown, there’s been 100 uplifting balls sent my way. Focus on the uplifting balls.

Have you ever gotten to a point where you feel helpless? Where you feel utterly alone and you are at a loss on what to do, how to help yourself, how to lift yourself, and no one seems to have noticed or extended a helping hand?

It’s hard to admit, I feel shameful somehow… I know that doesn’t make sense. But I know people, so how come no one has noticed how completely lost I feel?  Is no one asking? Or is it that I am portraying an image of I AM FINE.  Seeing that no one is a mind reader…are the results a manifestation of my own direct actions?

The Bible is very specific, “Ask and you shall recieve, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened.

Everything starts from an action on my own part.

Have you sort for help from your support system? If you seek, you will definitely find.

So I challenge me today to put my pride or my ego or my reseverness down and seek the help that I NEED.  No one is a mind reader, and everyone has that one thing they are dealing with.

BE KIND to yourself and each other. Do not let the devil get a stronghold on your thoughts. Thoughts like no one cares have been before me, and I saw it start to eat into me that I started focusing on the wrong things….

Trust God. Trust his words. Fill yourself with positive things, and gradually, it starts to overshadow the negative things. The Bible tells us to think of what is true, what is lovely and what is pure.  There is a reason for that, and I admit it can be extremely difficult sometimes.

Take one item and focus on it. For this week, DH celebrated another year. Thankful.  I have always been a big believer in celebrating birthdays. But this year, the true meaning of celebrating another year holds deeper meaning.

+2 from 5th decade

+4 from 1st diagnoses

Those who put their trust in God will never be put to shame. Roman’s 10:11

I know I am not ok when I blow up the smallest of issues into the biggest deals. It is my minds way of not focusing on major issues. Is it good or bad? I really do not know atimes.  On some level it means I do not focus on major issues thereby escalating them, on the other hand it means the recipient of my small issue blow ups is left perplexed as to why a none issue has gotten me so worked up.

I know I am worked up when I start repeating the supposed issue over and over again. Almost like I believe the other party would not fully hear and understand until I say it about 10 times. Not a great habit.

A recent one… a double hotel booking that I know would somehow be resolved, and worse case, would hurt the bank account.

I sometimes in my mind float out and listen to myself and think…Folake….slow down…be kind to yourself and others!

On reflection, I figured out what the underlying issue is. I am nervous about an upcoming trip. My mind is just not connecting  and that is bugging me. Nothing gets me more excited than knowing I can get on a plane. So when I can not muster up excitement, it’s major. This feels like dejavu to 3 years ago…precisely Christmas time, too. I was worried about flying during covid post hubbys treatment. We went and came back safely….so why does worry sometimes creep in to overshadow?

Mind over matter.

The mind is the strongest none physical organ of the body. It’s up to me to keep training my mind.

Proverbs 4:23 NIV
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Be mindful of what you allow into your thoughts and emotions, It can influence your actions and decisions.