Overwhelmed?

We all get to that point where you fight against that feeling of being overwhelmed. That feeling where you know that giving into your thoughts is a bad move. Where you must fight hard against your thoughts. My only weapon, worship songs that I pray would feed my mind and help drown out the feeling of despair.

Today is Day 17 of DH being hospitalised, and in part, I have been mentally ok for most periods. The exception was Day 11, which I found quite hard. I left the hospital, got on the train, and the reality of the past days came crashing down on me. Seeing someone normally strong become weak is a feeling I can not describe.

We are on track to get discharged on Day 19. I am happy this part is almost over, but  the road ahead suddenly looks daunting. I know that as God took us through this period and I could look back and say, “It was much smoother than I could imagine”, I am trying to remind my head that the next two months will have the same testimony.

I spent this evening with NO, who kindly invited me to an event that I accepted blindly, not asking for any details. Turns out it was an evening with Tina Knowles and Stella McCartney….talk about a pleasant surprise. I termed it #timeout as sometimes in life, taking a break from your reality is a necessity.

Today is also my dear Sister-friend  mums death anniversary, and another close friend lost someone soo dear to her yesterday. Both to C. That news hit bad. I sit at 23.58pm screaming at my brain to not be overwhelmed with the road ahead.

On a happy note, today is day 155 of my Bible in one year journey.  We are now reading about David. How did I not know he had  lots of wives!😮 Reading the old Testament is not for the faint-hearted.

To that overwhelming feeling, I say, “This too shall pass, One day at a time, I am not my thought, focus on the present, don’t let your thoughts control you, I’ve survived 100% of every thing I once termed difficult.

Psalms 61:1-2 NIV
[1] Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. [2] From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

This psalm is the basis of a secondary school song that I really loved. How befitting that it is an excerpt from one of the psalms of David.

The song states, “Hear my cry o Lord, attend unto my prayers.” From the ends of the earth will I cry unto thee. And when my heart is overwhelmed, please lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Thankful for my sister, who has been a human rock with her presence and my mum for providing a sense of normalcy at home for our daughter.

Quotes that I came across that resonated with me.

“You have dealt with so much and done the best that you can. So, take a moment now to appreciate how strong you are. ” – Karen Salmansohn

“Don’t believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.” – Renee Jain

God is my rock and my  foundation that never changes.

Welcome to day 18. It is now 00.49am, and it’s time to force my mind and thoughts to shut down whilst listening to My Response by Jubilee Worship.